by Seymore Folkes

My wife of 40 plus years was reminiscing one day about the time she first came to my house after meeting me. I had been a bachelor for several years and was living in a 12×50 New Moon brand house trailer that was about fifteen years old at the time. It wasn’t real classy, but then neither was I and you know, men could live in a cave or the back of a garage and it would suffice for them. I was just a country boy who had been to a rodeo or two and a goat roping in Gotebo. The trailer was parked on some land owned by my mother who lived just down the road a piece.
 Living on my own was not a brand new experience, after all I had camped out at the lake a time or two, been on wheat harvest following high school graduation, and spent a couple of semesters at Stillwater.
 I told everyone that after leaving mom’s table and moving to Stillwater, it only took me two weeks to learn to cook, however it took about six weeks to get use to eating it. However, that experience of living on my own, I developed some kitchen techniques that I still practice today.
 My soon to be wife’s first visit to the old Folkes home, she is kind of taking everything in and she wandered over to my avocado green ice box and popped the door open, to find a collection of Budweiser Long Necks and assorted other left over fast food items. She picks this kind of crusty sauce pan up and removes the lid and asks, “What is this?”. To which I replied, “Well, dinner or supper or lunch or whatever.” “What is in it?” she queried. “Wolf Brand Chili and Rodeo wieners.” I said. “You eat this?” she asked. “Well, yeah, mostly lunch and supper or before bed, you know.” I answered honestly. “When was this pan last washed?” she wanted to know. “Ok, it works like this,” I said. “When I want to eat, I take that pan out and put it on the stove and heat it up. When I get through, I put it back in the icebox until next time. If it runs out of chili, I open a new can of Wolf Brand and dump it in there. If it runs out of wieners, I put some new ones in it. When the chili and the wieners run out at the same time, I wash the pan. Pretty simple, don’t you think?” You know over-washing can wear a lot of things out before their time, no need to over do it.
 I have found that some women don’t really subscribe to my theory on pots and pans. My wife could boil a cup of water in a pan, and then think it needs to be washed. My gosh, it only had water in it, now you are gonna waste soap and more water on it?
 Mom came to my bachelor house one day and there were three dirty dinner plates and silverware at the table. “Had visitors for lunch?” she asked. “Nope,” I replied. “What’s with the dishes?” she wanted to know. “Oh, that’s lunch and supper from yesterday and breakfast this morning, and there is a fourth place there for lunch today. Then, I will wash the dishes and start over.” Heck, I have a four-place setting, you know.
 “Let me help you,” she said as she began to gather the plates and silverware. “Wait a minute,” I said. “Don’t stack those plates. You will have to wash the bottoms if you stack those dirty plates!”
 Well, it worked for me. It is just those little things that save a lot of time and energy when you sit down and think about it.
 Some people are obsessed with the expiration dates on packages of food. It is so bad you would think the food processor must put a little clock in each package with a timer so that it immediately makes the food go bad on a particular date. I think it is a marketing gimmick to sell more product. My wife wouldn’t even feed it to the dog if the it was out of date. But, have you ever noticed what a dog really likes. Why, Catfish Charlie doesn’t smell too bad for a dog to lap up. And, if they throw it up, they will just eat it again until it will stay down. That’s a dog for you.
 Who really knows what a dog likes. I open a can of dog food and it all smells the same to me. I think it probably all taste the same too. But we have 57 different flavors to choose from at the store, and we must not buy the same flavor every time for our precious dog. He must have variety. Chopped combo with chicken, beef and liver, chopped garden fresh vegetables, veal and vermouth. But me, just put some more Wolf Brand Chili over those Rodeo wieners and I will be happy.